


Cheaters Will Recieve an Ass Whoopin'

by Akira_of_the_Twilight



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Polyamory, Protective Rhodey, Rhodey Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 11:25:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6516580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_of_the_Twilight/pseuds/Akira_of_the_Twilight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhodey had known Tony was in love with Steve.</p><p>And Rhodey, believing the Captain America charm, had thought it was perfect and that Tony was safe, because Steve Rogers would never intentionally hurt someone he cared about.</p><p>The video of Steve pinning Bucky up against a wall and shoving his tongue down his long time friend’s throat had proven Rhodey wrong.</p><p>Rhodey was going to kick Steve Rogers’ patriotic ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cheaters Will Recieve an Ass Whoopin'

Rhodey had never fathomed that there would ever be a day he would want to kick Captain America’s ass. In fact, if someone had asked him, he probably would have dismissed them as crazy and laughed with Tony about it later.

He also hadn’t thought Tony and Steve would end up dating, which was why he was wonderfully surprised two weeks ago when he’d video called Tony on a whim and saw Tony giving Steve a shoulder massage and kissing Steve on the temple. After Rhodey had made his presence known, Tony had shooed Steve out of the room and confessed to Rhodey that he was dating Steve, but that there was more to it than that. Tony had lowered his eyes and he’d _blushed_ as he spoke. Blushed!

Rhodey had known right then and there that Tony was in love with Steve.

And Rhodey, believing the Captain America charm, had thought it was perfect and that Tony was safe, because Steve Rogers would never intentionally hurt someone he cared about.

The video of Steve pinning Bucky up against a wall and shoving his tongue down his long time friend’s throat had proven Rhodey wrong.

Rhodey was going to kick Steve Rogers’ patriotic ass.

Rhodey marched into Avengers’ Tower with his fist clenched. As the elevator rose a part of him wished he’d had the foresight to wear the War Machine gauntlet; Steve wasn’t going to feel his punch otherwise.

The elevator stopped and Rhodey was stunned for moment to see that he’d arrived on the penthouse floor where Tony lived. He’d specifically asked to be taken to where Steve was located.

Rhodey shook his head and shrugged it off. Steve was either pleading his case with Tony or had already done soon and Tony—the idiot in love—had taken Steve back.

Rhodey stormed into the living only to freeze for the second time when he caught Clint Barton straddling Steve on the couch, both men shirtless and making out like teenagers on prom night.

“On his fucking couch!” Rhodey appeared in front of the couch just as Clint popped his mouth off his Steve’s lips. Rhodey grabbed Clint by the arm and threw him to the ground. “I don’t know which of you two I should deck first.”

“Rhodey, I can explain,” Steve held up his hands in a placating gesture.

Clint groaned and pushed himself up. “Don’t think he’s going to listen.”

There was a skidding sound, followed by something crashing against Tony’s bedroom door from the inside the room and a yelp of pain from Tony.

“Tony! Are you okay?” Bucky’s voice came from the bedroom.

The door swung open and a naked Tony clutching a bottle of lube stumbled out. “Don’t kill them, Rhodey!”

Rhodey blinked, taking in the entire room.

Steve and Clint were shirtless and flushed from making out, Tony was naked and holding lube, and Bucky was down to his boxers and holding a string of unopened condoms.

“Are you and Steve swingers?” Rhodey asked.

“No. Why would you ask that?” Tony frowned.

“Because your boyfriend is making out with another man while you’re in a bedroom getting freaky with another guy who was filmed getting his mouth violated by your boyfriend.”

Bucky snorted. “If it’s the correct kiss I’m thinking of then ‘violated’ is not the right word.”

Tony slapped Bucky on the chest. “Shush you.” He returned his focus to Rhodey. “And Steve and I are not swingers.” Tony’s eyes darted to the three near naked men in the room and shifted with uncertainty. “Remember when you found out about Steve? Remember when I said there more to it than dating him? Well, I wanted to wait until I could tell you face to face, so here it goes…” Tony plastered on a big smile and spread his arms wide. “These three guys are my boyfriends, and they are each others’ boyfriends too. I’m in a polyarmous relationship with all of them.”

Rhodey stared.

Tony’s smile faltered. He lowered his arms. “I guess with my history it is not that exciting, is it?”

Rhodey shook his head. “Don’t give me that pity party crap. Just… I’m wrapping my head around it, okay?” Rhodey scanned the room again.

Boyfriends. All three of them. Okay. “So no one is cheating on anyone?”

“Nope,” Tony said.

Rhodey nodded slowly. He stopped and cringed. “You don’t do triple penetration do you? Because that is not good for anyone’s ass. I’m not even sure it is physically possible. Wait. No, what am I saying? I don’t want to know the answer to that. Please don’t tell me.”

Tony’s eyes lit up with mischief. “But Honeybear, why do you think Bucky and I were in the bedroom? We were getting the prep stuff when you—”

Rhodey covered his ears. “I can’t hear you. La la la la.”

Rhodey ran for the elevator.

He cursed when Tony’s voice came over the elevator's intercom and told Rhodey how to prep someone for triple penetration.

Rhodey didn’t know if he was grateful or horrified when he heard Tony squeak Clint’s name and moan right before the intercom cut off.


End file.
